Master of my fate: one fear at a time
Life is busy, and the to-do list is always longer than the hours of the day. There might be some dreams you’re not chasing because you’re afraid of failure, that big task at work stressing you out and making your anxiety take over at times. The week is ending, and instead of relaxing with people you care about, you’re thinking about that problem at work. You’re lying in your bed at night and a tug at your stomach is telling you it’s panic time, while all you want is sleep. We’ve all been there.
Some nights we shake those thoughts and fall asleep just fine. For the nights you can’t, try utilizing that fear-consumed part of you and write all those fears down.
So, step 1: write down your fears.
We’re going into problem-solving mode. Are all of the fears written? Good. Now tell yourself that you will find a solution to all those problems tomorrow and go to sleep.
Ok, since that most likely won’t work, you can proceed to the next step.
Step 2: For each fear, answer these 3 questions:
What is the worst-case scenario if my fears come to life?
What action do I take to fix the situation if the worst-case happens?
What action can I take to prevent the worst from happening/minimize the negative result?
Step 3: Rate it
Now rate each fear from 1-10 depending on how much anxiety it causes or how much it occupies your mind.
Then rate the preventative action on a scale from 1 to 10, depending on how much effort it requires.
Look for low-hanging fruit, pairing the biggest fear with preventative actions that do not take much effort. So high fear, low effort. That’s your first course of action.
Now prioritize the rest of the list based on the same logic. From biggest fears to lowest, prioritize those that require lower effort, until you’re left only with higher-effort actions.
Example:
The exercise can look something like this:
Let’s take a sports injury as an example. Sometimes you can’t avoid it, but having an adequate pair of running shoes if you plan to run long distance daily helps avoid unnecessary blisters. Just like using teeth protection during sparring in boxing helps keep your teeth where they belong - inside your mouth.
Takeaway
The first part of the exercise (worst-case + fix + prevent) is called fear-setting. It helps to get your fears out of your head and assess whether the worst-case scenario is worth losing your sleep for. The second part guides you towards action, answers the “Now what?” question, and helps you get started and gain momentum.